All she had was work, studies, and she had to learn to pay bills on her own, manage her money and have to worry about it. If your boyfriend pretended to be depressed, you need to know that he used a very common Its not you, its me excuse. He fooled you into pitying him and leaving him alone so he could do whatever he wanted to do. We did not see much of each other face to face due to work schedules and because of the other things above. We hung out last week, and not much progress has been made. I realised this was recent I experienced the same just a couple of weeks after you and knew exactly how you felt. It may help you get a new perspective on what happened.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'psychreel_com-leader-3','ezslot_10',114,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-leader-3-0'); It can be, sometimes, that a boyfriend that was battling depression can come back. A breakup caused by depression can be difficult to foresee and interpret. This article will discuss what can happen when your boyfriend, who is dealing with depression, breaks up with you. He said he doesn't know what he wantsso i said "so you love me, but don't know what you want?" Instead of talking about it, he (secretly) blames you for it and thinks you dont listen or sympathize with him. If he wanted your pity and support, he would have expressed the desire to talk about the things he needed to stay in the relationship with you. Things will make much more sense when you regain emotional independence. Hed rather distance himself from you (and probably others as well) and spend as much time alone as possible. This is what depression is and does, it breaks everything that is beautiful, loving, and good. Thank you for sharing. I was sad for him and sad for us. Is it possible hell come back to me when hes feeling ready? A relationship may be affected in many ways if one of the partners has some mental disorder. If I may ask, how is everything going with you and your girlfriend now? Be respectful, genuine, and careful. Its difficult to read that he has associated me with negative feelings like stressors but it also helps me to understand how we got here. I am in no contact, its been 2 weeks. As a human, a good friend, a well wisher please help them rather than making them feel they are responsible for the breakup. My depressed boyfriend broke up with me (7 ways to reconnect), https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/divorcing-depression#, a lack of relationships or withdrawal from previous relationships, negative feelings toward yourself and others, reduced emotional abilities, including having less verbal or nonverbal expressions, difficulty adjusting to social situations, a tendency toward showing fake emotions, such as pretending youre happy at a wedding, a loss of libido or a lack of interest in physical intimacy, persistent physical problems, such as being sick often. Hes happy when everythings fine and unhappy or miserable when he cant get what he wants from you. Have cried for 12 hours straight. It crushed me because I love him still and wanted to make things work. . We still see each other because of an organization we're both apart of btw. Although it wont help you get him back, it will give you some clarity and perhaps even closure. Thats why he started to crave a life without you and detached completely. The same is true for your ex. Eventually, as the intensity of repressed emotions increases, a depressed person starts pushing people awayeven those close to him. For now, give him the space he needs and focus on yourself. They are also very critical about people around them and their own selves. I wanna stay friends but I love him so much Would that be healthy? Depressed boyfriend broke up with me, what is the best way to navigate this? We almost broke up in July but decided to try to work on things. Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? I love him too much to watch him move on with someone else, that want him to be happy but I cant watch it. This can make them feel even more guilty about their condition. Hell most likely need some kind of incentive to respect you, love you, and want to be with you. And as long as you are open to it, learn and grow with the challenges. They leave their partners at their worst and run off to enjoy their lives to the fullest. I wrote him an extreme long message saying all this about how much I love him and also about how I reallt badly dont want this to be a breakup especially since we both love eachother SO much. Be your partner mentally healthy or not. Depression works the same way. Everything was going well in our relationship, occasional fights here & there but nothing truly significant. Because they ran out of energy, they just take the blame and make it seem like their partners have nothing to do with their loss of feelings even though they know thats not the case. They want him to act a certain way even though hes dealing with a lot of problems at the same time and cant act the way they want him to act. Another thing that will help you cope is finding new hobbies and activities. Genes are not the only factor responsible though. Ill work and focus on myself in the meantime, and will accompany her through this dark tunnel, whether it is as her best friend or her boyfriend, ill always be there for her and want her to be happy. In this post, well talk about what to do if your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression. Even though it may have its ups and downs, so do all relationships. When you try to understand and comprehend your partner, it is very important to be compassionate and gentle. Contrary to happy, mature couples, selfish boyfriends tend to do whats best for them. I know thats what your emotions are telling you to do, but its not right. going thru this right now.. a week in today and non contact with him im so sad and confused but also cant even begin to imagine what HE is going through this is really hard for me. On Sunday he was still texting me hearts So now Im sad and confused. These emotions are likely a natural part of losing touch with someone who mattered to you. We haven't talked since thenand its killing me. Genetic inheritance may be a cause behind your partners depression which he has not got any control over. Its been 3 days since we last talked and we have talked everyday for 4 years. Hes to sad to even text me back saying that seeing my name makes him feel so depressed and how unhappy he is. The first thing to do is to remember that not all relationships are perfect. He has been diagnosed with Depression and Bi-Polar. Whatever he does or doesnt do, dont take it personally and try to avoid finding out what hes doing. Judge him by his pre-breakup and post-breakup behavior. He did say, its me, not you. Later on though he said I was a wonderful person and he doesnt want to lose me. What Eckard means is that people depend on external sources for happiness and your ex will probably as well. But if he dates other people and fails, he could get hurt again and need someone to help him get through rejection. When you are breaking up with someone you are still in love with, it might be good, to be honest. Depression often causes breakups, especially if it goes untreated. Its different from the rest because its tricky to understand and hard to respond to. I found this method quite useful to minimise the chance of my mind filled up by the same thoughts all the time it helped me to be less confused, and could progress even though the pain would take a long time to heal. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. If He Loves You, He Will Come Back No Matter What! While hes doing that, its best that you stay away from him and give him the space he needs. We've been going out over 5 years and hasn't seemed himself the past few months and then we were together and he suddenly broke down and told me he has developed anxiety and could be depressed and thinks we need to break up so can can be by himself too. I regret i couldnt be there in real life for her when she needed me the most during the past months and due to COVID, i couldnt give her any physical love and reassure her, but i also know that i did everything i could, i was always there for her, and i made her the happiest girl on this world while i was her boyfriend. To him, the relationship became suffocating and tedious, so he thought he needed to get rid of as many stressors as he could. He said he still loves me, but that it's not fair to me when he needs to be alone all the time. We're both 17. Its really sad and i was heartbroken that she decided that, but on the other hand i know it is for the best, i only hope she feels better and manage to heal, and be happy. if your girlfriend is depressed, she probably may feel worthless about herself. Its in your boyfriends nature to isolate himself and wallow in depression. They dont explain that their exes drained their energy and made them feel smothered or guilty for not being able to reciprocate their feelings and meet their expectations. Its also you because he associated unpleasant emotions with you and let those emotions suffocate him and affect his feelings for you. After the breakup he still asked if I was ok and I started opening up on my issues and told him I was also guilty of bottling up issues, was not in the right space to handle his sons situation better and isolated myself and slowly becoming a weight on him. Copyright OptimistMinds 2023 | All Rights Reserved. Heres a picture explaining the difference between internal and external happiness. We're both in our early/mid-30s and were together for three-and-a-half years. I just dont know how I can help him because when I did go see him & call him even after the breakup, he didnt pick up my calls or reply to my messages. More often than not, the stronger person eventually loses respect for the depressed person and thinks of him or her as a burden. We talk or text everyday, but then his calls and text were getting father apart. If you need assistance for mental health issues, please seek expert opinion and assistance immediately.The information on this page is not designed to replace a doctor or physician's independent judgment about the appropriateness or risks of a procedure for a given patient nor does it represent a diagnoses or advice. Your depressed boyfriend broke up with you? Along with that, the article will also suggest ways people might cope with a breakup.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[468,60],'psychreel_com-box-3','ezslot_24',102,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-box-3-0'); There can be many reasons why a person with depression might wish to end their relationship. Your ex is depressed and is taking the counselors advice seriously. Notice self-criticism.Learn how to self soothe. Hi there. It often consists of unexpressed emotions that build up over time. He needed to break up with you, be it temporarily, because some aspect or aspects of the . I did drop a letter off at his home when wasnt there. But it is important to keep in mind that, while dealing with depression, especially if he is not under treatment, be it therapy or medication, he might be experiencing intense depressive symptoms, and that is what is controlling their actions and behaviors right now. I know he really cares about me. Your boyfriend is this little thing we call.. Bipolar. stressful life experiences may affect your mental health in various ways sometimes trigger prolonged and severe emotional distress. You should know: The answer above provides general health information that is not intended to replace medical advice or treatment recommendations from a qualified healthcare professional. It really makes me mad because this probably only made it worse, she probably feel like she cant be helped at all and lose hope in any help, and it probably played on her mental health again since then. This article is very helpful. Week into my breakup now. Mature couples support each other no matter what emotional difficulties theyre going through. He has been depressed for a long time (pretty much our entire relationship which was 2.5yrs) and told me that after I had been gone travel nursing (1 solid month apart) he just spiraled so deep that he didnt even know if he loved me anymore (he said he just didnt feel anything about anything). Do you think its the depression and anxiety talking as to why he broke up with me? They can try to make you feel insecure about yourself and the relationship, and with that, the relationship might become co-dependent. But when something bad happens (not implying that it will), he could want someone to help him get through his misery. We would talk and he said his son had noticed a change in him of not being happy as usual. How did things evolve for you? During the treatment process, be supportive and understanding. Its hard to see that right now, but give it some time and youll see. For the past 7 years, I have had the smallest flickering of emotions, what I feel on a daily basis is practically nil. He could just be dealing with stress and doesnt know how to handle his stress. About a month into the breakup now, it was very confusing at first and it wasnt apparent what my boyfriend wanted. In his own words: He thinks things through and makes deliberate, purposeful decisions. Staying One Step Ahead of UC. Be Careful About Breaking Up When You're Depressed | by Karen Nimmo | On The Couch | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end.

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